When I was a child,
I played hide and seek like I was a professional.
I treated it like an Olympic sport that one day
I would bring home the gold
I was a secret agent
I was a tiny ninja
I was some mutant combination two, and I knew
I was something special
Hide and seek was my favourite game
Life didn’t seem so lonely when all I had to do was
work hard enough, look hard enough and
I would be the one sought after
When I was 9 years old, my older brother told me to go hide …
that was the day I learned that when people tell you to hide
they do not always intend to look for you afterwards
As I grew older,
I realized The church was one big game of hide and no seek
There were parts of me the Church didn’t like to look at
parts they wanted to remain hidden
and in order to keep things locked away for as long as possible
they formed bullets from silver spoon pacifiers and
raised a generation to be afraid of closet doors
telling them only monsters lived on the other side
It taught me they would rather skeletons in the closet
then bother to coming looking for me
I spent so long in hiding,
I started to defend my captors,
convincing myself that I didn’t deserve to be found.
But this is an apology letter to myself,
for all the time I spent hiding when I could have been fighting.
It was not my intention to lie to anyone,
I was only trying to survive
But I am tired of playing these games,
So come out, come out, wherever you are.
You don’t have to hide anymore.