Astronaut

Do I look smaller to you?
cause I feel smaller ….

Back in university, my room mate and I used to sneak out at night and climb onto rooftops.
After the classrooms went quiet and the world fell asleep,
we would scale the tallest building we could find
in hopes to gain a fresh perspective.
sitting on the cold asphalt shingles we watched over the campus,
seeing through the eyes of giants.
we felt like we could concur the world and If only for a moment,
we forgot how powerless we really were.

One warm summer night,
we climbed a top the peeked roof of the residence buildings.
But instead of standing tall over the world,
we rested our heads on the slanted surface,
stared into the night sky and wondered what it was like to be astronauts …
How tall they must feel looking down on the earth.

I don’t know when I started feeling so small

when I was a child,
I measured myself up against door posts waiting for the day I would be fully grown.
I was always waiting for life to happen
Cause this world is made for grown-ups
and I was never quite old enough to be treated a full citizen.

Though I was small in stature,
I felt as tall as mountains.
My head was always in the clouds,
dreaming of all the things I would do when I was older.
of the man I would become,
of the good deeds I would do

But somewhere along the way, I started shrinking.

God shapes mountains, but man mines it resources.
bleeds it dry
chipping away at it piece by piece,
year by year,
until is erodes into nothingness.
it’s head no longer in the clouds.

One warm summer night,
I pined for my home amongst the clouds.
Bouldered high atop peeked roofs,
as if standing atop mountains,
I took look at the night sky through childish eyes

I draw my own constellations
connecting the dots in whatever order I choose
and in that moment assigning them fictional names.
it doesn’t matter that I won’t remember them later,
because this was never a serious endeavour
and it doesn’t have to be
cause when I look up at the stars,
all I hear is the laughter of a little prince
how tall he must feel looking down on the earth.

Now this may only be a state of mind,
but in that moment,
I think I finally found my proper size,
because, “All grown-ups were once children, but only few of them remember it”
and “it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye”

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